Breezeblock

by **wheeter** » 15 Jun 2006, 10:11

Mary-Anne Hobbs is getting so fucking annoying recently. Is this just me? I've listened to the breezeblock for years and I still really dig 90% of the tunes that get played, but my god, every time she opens her mouth is just another exercise in extreme irritation for me. The way she tries to fetishize all the music she plays and all the crap "street jargon" she uses pisses me off so much - it's all "mmm.... this blazebown is so filllthy dirrrrty mmmm". She's sounding like those rancid Marks & Spencers adverts ("with an oooooozing chocolate centre... mmm... oh god..."). When Battles did their session a month or two ago she actually said (i'm not even paraphrasing) "and now... let Battles... calm the storm.. of your soul"... Calm the storm of your soul?!! The amount of turgid rhetoric that comes out of her mouth is just astounding.

by **Conan the Librarian** » 15 Jun 2006, 10:18

She and Tim Westwood should get a room.

by **wheeter** » 15 Jun 2006, 10:28

And Zane Lowe as well. Could you imagine the amount of bullshit that would be spoken with those three together? I miss John Peel.

by **Lady_Jane** » 15 Jun 2006, 10:55

wheeter wrote:I miss John Peel.

me too - he was on a documentary last week about Viv Stanshall from The Bonzo Dog Doodah Band, talking about how sad it was when people are taken away too soon. :cry:

by **Conan the Librarian** » 15 Jun 2006, 10:56

Lady_Jane wrote:
wheeter wrote:I miss John Peel.

me too - he was on a documentary last week about Viv Stanshall from The Bonzo Dog Doodah Band, talking about how sad it was when people are taken away too soon.

Whereas Thatch the old battleaxe lives on and on and on...

by **wheeter** » 15 Jun 2006, 11:07

I'd like to hear George Carlin take over the breezblock.

"I'm a modern man, a man for the millennium, digital and smoke-free, a diversified multi-cultural post-modern deconstructionist, politically, anatomically, and ecologically incorrect. I've been uplinked and downloaded, I've been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I'm a high-tech lowlife, a state-of-the-art bi-coastal multitasker, and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond. I'm new wave, but I'm old school, and my inner child is outward bound. I'm a hot-wired, heat-seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice-activated and biodegradable. I interface with my database, and my database is in cyberspace, so I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive, and from time to time, I'm radioactive. Behind the 8-ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging the bullet, pushing the envelope. I'm on point, on task, on message, and off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed. I have no urge to binge and purge. I'm in the moment, on the edge, over the top, but under the radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistics missionary. A street-wise smart bomb, a top-gun bottom-feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps. I'm a totally ongoing bigfoot slamdunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach. A raging workaholic, a working rageaholic, out of rehab and in denial. I got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant, and a personal agenda. You can't shut me up, you can't dumb me down, 'cause I'm tireless, and I'm wireless. I'm an alphamale on beta blockers. I'm a non-believer and an overachiever, laid back, but fashion forward, up front, down home, low rent, high maintenance; super size, long lasting, high definition, fast acting, oven ready, and built to last. I'm a hands-on, footloose, kneejerk headcase, prematurely post-traumatic, and I have a love child who sends me hate mail. But I'm feeling, I'm caring, I'm healing, I'm sharing, a supportive, bonding, nurturing, primary caregiver. My output is down, but my income is up. I take a short position on a long bond, and my revenue stream has its own cash flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports. I'm gender specific, capital intensive, user friendly, and lactose intolerant. I like rough sex, I like tough love, I use the F-word in my e-mails, and the software on my hard drive is hardcore, no soft porn. I bought a microwave at a minimall, I bought a minivan at a megastore, I eat fast food in the slow lane. I'm tollfree, bite size, ready to wear, and I come in all sizes. A fully equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle. I've been prewashed, precooked, preheated, prescreened, preapproved, postdated, freeze dried, double wrapped, vacuum packed, and I have an unlimited broadband capacity. I'm a rude dude, but I'm the real deal, lean and mean, cocked, locked, and ready to rock; rough, tough, and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide, I got glide in my stride. Drivin' and movin', sailin' and spinnin', jivin' and groovin', wailin' and winnin'. I don't snooze, so I don't lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hardy, and lunch time is crunch time. I'm hangin' in, there ain't no doubt, and I'm hangin' tough, over and out."

-George Carlin: Life is Worth Losing (2005) and When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops

by **alboot** » 15 Jun 2006, 11:13

mary-anne hobbs voice gets me hard

by **wheeter** » 15 Jun 2006, 11:16

what a lovely thought

Breezeblock

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