Beatmonkey with festival kitYou may be a festival virgin or a salty old sea dog who’s been going to festivals ever since the last block of stone was set in place at Stonehenge. It doesn’t seem to matter because all can benefit from this kit of useful lightweight festival gear that could well be the difference between lasting the weekend and sloping off to spend the rest of the weekend on your sofa munching pot noodles and pretending you didn’t want to be at that stinking festival anyway.

At a meagre £20 this kit provides a whole host of items designed to be useful to everyone, even if you don’t think it to be very useful most of the items are very handy to have in reserve. In many ways the large plastic poncho is worth the asking price alone, it functions perfectly as a raincoat but is also very useful for sitting on wet ground and could even be strung up between trees to give shade without too much effort.

The ubiquitous space blanket is of course included in this pack. Personally I think their best use is a sun reflector for your tent on those sunny mornings (ever the optimist!) but many people seem to favour running around with them tied round their necks fully believing they’re a space ranger from the planet Zarg.

Also included is a large selection of toiletries in handy weekend sizes, these comprise shampoo, shower gel, deodorant, lip balm, toothpaste and brush combo, sun cream and hand sanitizer. All of which would prove useful (well the first two only if your one of these hygiene-obsessed clean freaks who insist on showering at festivals) and stop you having to spend time decanting your normal toiletries into small bottles, fiddly and boring work.

The sun cream is of a decently strong factor and claims to be sweat proof, this I haven’t been able to test the validity of due to a combination of work and shit weather but if it’s claims are true it could be very useful for those who spend all day stomping at the origin stage.

The double pack of condoms included I have fully stress tested, but won’t be able to give you the full report for another nine months – so hold tight, people.

Having given the ear plugs a test and still being able to hear my computer fans my verdict would be that they are useless, if you care about your hearing you will already have a proper set, if you don’t these won’t be of any use at all to you. A glow in the dark whistle is another fairly useless item, I suppose some people might want it though.

A mini first aid kit is something everyone should have and this one with a couple of wound cleThe ultimate festival kitaners, some plasters and some towelettes in a semi-waterproof container is just the trick for a festival, it provides just enough to prevent a visit to the first aid tent in case of minor injuries.

The LED keyring torch has proved to be pretty indestructible as I’ve dropped it out of my window and left it in a sink full of water for a good half hour, while the light produced may not be amazing it is enough to get by on should your main torch fail.

This kit also contains some of those magic towels that expand from a tiny size to be a very small sized loosely woven towel. These things in my eyes are near useless and they should have just provided twice the amount of tissues or a pack of wet wipes instead.

And last but not least included is one pack of chewing gum, always good for keeping the old pecker up.

So all in all a useful kit that provides some very handy items at a cheap price, not a festival essential by any means but a one-stop shop to making your experience that little bit more pleasant.

The Ultimate Festival Kit is available from
for £19.99 plus £4 p&p within the UK.

2 Comments for this entry

  • Dave says:

    This seems like a pretty handy, pretty good value little find.
    Don’t splash out on a tesco value sleeping bag… i took one to glastonbury and nearly died from the cold on the first night.

  • Susan says:

    Yes, if there is anything I’ve learned in the 10 festivals and what NOT to buy the cheapest of it’s sleeping bags and tents!! I would have froze one Glastonbury night a few year ago if my friend hadn’t given me on those emergency blankets. Looks like they won’t do a thing but they really work! Used it for T in the Park this year – brilliant!